HELP IS THIS TOO MEAN

i’m roasting my best friend tonight for his birthday but i can’t tell if this is too harsh

mat, you are 40 years old. that is insane to me and to everyone here. when tom’s dad was 40 years old he had a corvette and two houses. you literally can’t afford a bicycle, and are by all practical purposes homeless…not homeless just as in you don’t own a home — but actually, like a homeless person. you literally squat in other peoples homes and survive solely on the goodwill of others — in the form of cash, clothing, and food either donated by people who feel sorry for you or that you have stolen. you are literally a homeless person.

celbritiesdidwhat kayleighwhat

friday where u at

slackofalltrades meat-wentz
walkthroughthefire benwyattscutebutt

backstage at the show i went to tonight with my roommate and some fucker walks over and is super rude like “YO IT’S TIME TO LEAVE, KICKING YOU OUT” but he only says it to me

then the band is like “dude what the fuck are you doing, this is our friend who does (xyz)”

and homeboy says “oh, i just figured this was some fan who snuck back” but he meant it in the “she’s a girl” way because apparently my strange dude roommate backstage is not cause for alarm, but i am a threat who needs to be kicked out immediately

fucking piece of trash I HOPE YOU’RE DESTINED TO WORK IN B MARKET VENUES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

i literally can’t deal with the amount of fucking moronic sexist shit i’ve heard this week FUCKING KILL ME

spotted-fawn thecultureofme